“Brother”

Jay Castro

Blaming me for everything

Used to be funny

Letting me tag along

Without any money

Putting on our best act

To claim masculinity

Each moment of shame

A wasted opportunity

Running unimpeded

hiding our fragility

Crossing every boundary

calling it stupidity

Leading by example

Without examining what kind

Just as long as you didn't feel like

You were falling behind

Doing whatever you felt like

As your problems became mine

And your answer was

It's fine

And you criticized

My spine

Which was something I didn't buy

As your answer became

The only way you could reply

Relying on others

to maintain your light

You used to shine bright

Enough to fill up mine

Dreams of the young and foolish

At the start of our time

That we were called to serve

Before joining forces

With the men before us

So we wouldn't become 

The blind leading the blind

You gave up the fight

When you took off that night

And put an end to your loyalty

That you swore to your wife

You gave up on me

And our solidarity

You stabbed yourself in the back

And left me to bleed

Trapped in the vine

Where I fought through mine

My brother gave up

And left me behind

How dare you leave me 

Alone on an island

Abandoning the fruit

That needed you to ripen

You pushed me aside 

When we both have work to do

When our forefathers that abandoned us

Looked exactly like you

You set our people back

When we were trying to build

Around your autonomy

And the stick that you wield

Chasing the falling stars

Thinking no one else could see

Giving me your instruction

While acting from a different set of beliefs

Telling me I'd go to hell

And then claim God's light

Like how Adam and Eve

Was insecurity turned smite

The miracle of childbirth

Rewritten to be male

And blaming the woman

Was the focal point of your tale

Using it as justification

For your kingdom to prevail

Another generation, another departure

Another brother without fail

Your ambition is lacking

In doing anything new

A lesson you forsake

Was a lesson for me too

With me or without me

Accountability is what we must do

The end of my patriarchy

Starts here with me and you

 

Jay (they/he) is a second generation uninvited guest of Filipino descent who resides, creates art, heals, and studies on the stolen lands of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh Nations. As a poet he seeks to collage real and imagined symbols into a metaphorical present. As a therapist he seeks to root each client back into their living context and culture. With both he challenges systemic injustices that play out in our day to day lives and honours the healing process needed along the way.

Instagram: @second.wnd