“Brother”
Jay Castro
Blaming me for everything
Used to be funny
Letting me tag along
Without any money
Putting on our best act
To claim masculinity
Each moment of shame
A wasted opportunity
Running unimpeded
hiding our fragility
Crossing every boundary
calling it stupidity
Leading by example
Without examining what kind
Just as long as you didn't feel like
You were falling behind
Doing whatever you felt like
As your problems became mine
And your answer was
It's fine
And you criticized
My spine
Which was something I didn't buy
As your answer became
The only way you could reply
Relying on others
to maintain your light
You used to shine bright
Enough to fill up mine
Dreams of the young and foolish
At the start of our time
That we were called to serve
Before joining forces
With the men before us
So we wouldn't become
The blind leading the blind
You gave up the fight
When you took off that night
And put an end to your loyalty
That you swore to your wife
You gave up on me
And our solidarity
You stabbed yourself in the back
And left me to bleed
Trapped in the vine
Where I fought through mine
My brother gave up
And left me behind
How dare you leave me
Alone on an island
Abandoning the fruit
That needed you to ripen
You pushed me aside
When we both have work to do
When our forefathers that abandoned us
Looked exactly like you
You set our people back
When we were trying to build
Around your autonomy
And the stick that you wield
Chasing the falling stars
Thinking no one else could see
Giving me your instruction
While acting from a different set of beliefs
Telling me I'd go to hell
And then claim God's light
Like how Adam and Eve
Was insecurity turned smite
The miracle of childbirth
Rewritten to be male
And blaming the woman
Was the focal point of your tale
Using it as justification
For your kingdom to prevail
Another generation, another departure
Another brother without fail
Your ambition is lacking
In doing anything new
A lesson you forsake
Was a lesson for me too
With me or without me
Accountability is what we must do
The end of my patriarchy
Starts here with me and you
Jay (they/he) is a second generation uninvited guest of Filipino descent who resides, creates art, heals, and studies on the stolen lands of the Musqueam, Squamish, and Tsleil-Waututh Nations. As a poet he seeks to collage real and imagined symbols into a metaphorical present. As a therapist he seeks to root each client back into their living context and culture. With both he challenges systemic injustices that play out in our day to day lives and honours the healing process needed along the way.
Instagram: @second.wnd