Let us pray.

And in love languages I am fluent in worry,

passed down from the fury in ma’s eyes

when I stayed out at night—teetering between

her safety and the void, hands splayed

on either side of me.

SAAN KA GALING SAAN KA PUPUNTA ANG DILIM SA LABAS ANG LAYO MO UWI KA NA MAHAL KITA

I wish I had all the bubble wrap in the world

to hold everyone dear and close—

away from the evils of the world, embrace

them to my heart, when I know

that the darkness is on the other side.

SAAN KA GALING SAAN KA PUPUNTA ANG DILIM SA LABAS ANG LAYO MO UWI KA NA MAHAL KITA

My grammar is paranoia, calling

after bad dreams to make sure they

who had fallen are upright—that the heartbreak

we turn to for catharsis is still distant on screens—

that the next breaking news remains parallel

at worst.

SAAN KA GALING SAAN KA PUPUNTA ANG DILIM SA LABAS ANG LAYO MO UWI KA NA MAHAL KITA

I told myself I’d be fearless, jumping

off ledges, cheering loved ones on as they

too embraced the void. But I am stuck

in panic’s rosary, circling back

to each person, negotiating

with their God.

SAAN KA GALING SAAN KA PUPUNTA ANG DILIM SA LABAS ANG LAYO MO UWI KA NA MAHAL KITA

Between my ribs I feel her words,

circling each bone, lingering as gravity

pulls me to the ledge.

SAAN KA GALING SAAN KA PUPUNTA ANG DILIM SA LABAS ANG LAYO MO UWI KA NA MAHAL KITA

And we teeter along this edge, hands

grasping at one another, words

exchanged to ensure the other is there.

Are we drifting? Are we still fluent

in this language or have the refrains

fallen off the string?

Amen.